Log in

No account? Create an account

Nov. 21st, 2011

(no subject)

I"m sorry it took forever! School and midterms. blah blah blah. I'm sorry. This one I think really makes the story fucking beast, okay. Enjoy. (:

Chapter 5: Coming soon!

Nov. 9th, 2011

Reborn Chapter 4 Part I

Chapter 4 part ICollapse )

Nov. 4th, 2011

Reborn Chapter 3

Nov. 2nd, 2011

(no subject)

Reborn: Chapter 2Collapse )
Thank you, readers. <3

Oct. 19th, 2011


( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

Sep. 25th, 2011


So clearly, my frerards are shorter than I'd like and i'm currently working on that. I only have one posted though, and it's a one shot so. >_> it may be a while until more get posted. Between school and shit. But i won't let you down, not like a fics are truely being read yet or anything.

Stay tuned.

Sep. 18th, 2011

Just Like My Favorite Scene *FRERARD*

Just Like My Favorite Scene
Chapter 1 - Dis-fixed.
Gerard's POV
I can't take it anymore.

I've gone to this school for about 3 years now (I'm now 18.) I'm the emo. The out, bisexual male. But no one's given me shit about it. Not even my girlfriend, Lindsey. We've been together for three years. She's a year younger then me, being a junior now compared to my senior status in school years. I love her so much, and I'm scared. She's moving from Jersey to Texas - what feeling like a million miles away. We are so young, we don't know what to do.

"I don't think we should have a long distance relationship.." spoke Lindsey, coming up to my locker with a sigh, interuptig my thoughts. I looked over, plain-faced. I knew we were going  to have to speak of this at some point. She's leaving this Saturday evening. I'm helping her pack that afternoon.

"Are we still going to think about it? It's Friday.. Spend dinner with me and my family." She nodded.

"I have to go home first. You know my parents," she grinned. I let out a chuckle. Of course I did, it's been three years. I then frowned, realizing it'd be years meant to come to end end. She kissed my cheek; she knew what I was thinking. I pecked her lips and watched her walk outside, heading home. I sighed, closed my locker and headed out front of the lobby, outside, to meet Mikey by the benches. Like we always did. We bro-hugged, both chuckling at our lame-ness.

"What's up, dude?" Mikey's a new student here, a freshman. I'm always protecting him from the nerd-haters. Who can't fucking love nerds? They're the best.

"Ah, nothing." I licked my bottum lip out of habbit. He nodded towards the tree at the side yard of the school were a kid had always hidden out. It's really far off, no one barely notices it's there. I notice though; I used to read and listen to the Misfits by that tree in my loner years. But the kid that stays there now, Frank.. He's always there. In the morning when I arrive, sometimes sleeping, sometimes doing homewoork. And then he's there when school lets out. I don't know why. I've been to school with him since 7th grade. We never talked, but we always looked at each other. You know, those random glances at each other. Nothing intentional. But it was always once I'd watch him pick himself up and off the ground after being pumbled by anyone at random. No one gave him the time of day, and I never said anything about it.

I can't take it anymore.

I started marching over once Mikey left to go home. He was leaning his head back and closing his eyes. I sat beside him, and took a deep breath.

Frank's POV

"Hey," he said. Gerard..? I opened one eye and looked over. Yupp, I was right. Gerard. He's the only one that hasn't said anything to give me proof and reasurrance of my suicidal thoughts or beat me to bits. Was he going to take his turn now? Where no one will see since everyone's gone for home? I opened both my eyes now and turned my head and saw those weren't his intentions at all.

"Hi.." I breathed. What the hell is going on?

"M'Gerard." He smiled nervously. My tatered and torn Misfits long sleeve shirt must be freaking him out. Or it's just me. Either way. And of course I knew who he was. He was the school bisexual. I wish I could be as open as his is about my being gay. 'Motherfucker' I thought. I nodded.

"I know." Gerard chuckled.

"I like your shirt." He seemed to being getting more comturable around me. Which made me feel a bit awkward.

"Nice eyeliner," I stated and smirked a bit, recieving a giggle in return. We talked for a while about our favorite movies which lead to our favorite holidays which lead to our favorite music and back to movies again. He seemed like a cool guy, but. I can't trust anyone. Why wasn't he going home either? I mean, nothing against him, but why would you choose to talk to me over going home with family. I'd rather do that, though I dont have one.

He sighed and straightened his back. "I need to go home.." I just nodded, trying not to let my jealousy show. "Come with me. I know you don't have a home and.. you look starving and you could probably reaaally want a shower." My eyes lite up. I needed one so bad; it's my weakness. He chuckled at my responce and stood, holding a hand out to help me. Did someone just do something nice towards me?
Damn, he's looking messed up compared to me right now.

Though, no one will beat me to that punch.

We walked down the road to his house, and it took me until we reached his driveway that we still had our hands in each others'. Mikey was in the driveway, and he raised an eyebrow. We dropped hands quickly, both blushing. Oh my god.

"This is Frankie, dude. No worries - chill." They laughed and Mikey waved at me with a smile. I waved back and grinned for the slightest second, not really being up for smiles. You know, my usual.

Once we walked inside, I noticed it was a full house tonight. Gerards girlfriend - Lindsey? - was on the couch with, who I assumed was his mom; they looked a lot alike. But then I saw a man who looked just like Gerard but 30 years older. He came walking into the room in the same time we did. Gerard walked right over to Lindsey and into the dinning room where we couldn't see them. I noticed everyone pout at there disappearence. Had I missed something?

Gerard's POV

I walked into the house, and my first focus was Lyn. I walked over to her spot on the couch, grabbed her hand and yanked her to the dinning room where I knew know one could see us, mentaling pimp-slapping myself if I hurt her the least bit. I hugged her tight and close with my arms around her shoulders, hers around my middle. I losened one arms to lift her chin up from my chest to a deep kiss. God, I'll miss this. I'll miss everything about her.

Just, everything.

We pulled away slowly and rested our foreheads against each others'. I don't know if her eyes were open, but I kept mine shut. So I could embrace this while I could.

"Let's go with the others. We have all night," She broke the silence, and I nodded, agreeing with everything she said.

We walked out hand-in-hand and joined them into the living were everyone was getting to know Frank; they quiestioned about why he looked and lived the way he did. He just told them long story and put on an exaustingly smug face. How can he do this? I shook my head, amazing and admiring how strong that kid is. I'm jealous.

Once we had joined back with them, we moved to the dinning room once more, but everyone els tagged along. We took our seats - Frank took my left with Mikey on his, and Lyn was on my right. At the ends were my parents, leaving one whole side completely empty.

We ate our food - appitizers to desert - like vacums. Especially Frank. Gosh, poor kid. My heart goes out to him. He's so adorable though. The way he eats and looks over his glass as he's drinking. He almost
looks insecure over where to look when he takes a drink, which made me melt a bit.

No. My focus is Lyn. And currenetly, everyone else as well.

We all went around telling funny holiday stories and about silly things that happen in everyday life that made us laugh beyond all beliefs. Soon enough, we all finished around six pm. Frank hadn't eaten that much in what I'll guess to be years, so he was out of it. We excused ourselves as I took him back to the guest room to show him where he'll be sleeping; I promised myself he'd never be spending onemore night under that tree.

Frank's POV

This was the best night of my life. I can't believe it. All that delicious food... 

It makes me so fucking tired.

Gerard told me to follow him, and I got rather confused. Why was he taking me back here?

"Listen. I can't let you out there on your own now that we're introduced properly." I teared up.
This is why no one should get involved. I'm not worth it, and now I'm a burdon. Fuck.

"It's okay. I have a natural living home. Plus, it's free. It's perfect for a broke guy," I joked, trying to make it easier for me to just leave so I wouldn't ruin their family like my own.

Well, I didn't really ruin it. Neither did my sibling. I ruined foster families, of course. If you were anything like me you'd ruin a foster family. It's just how it is.

My real mother was 15 when she had me, 17 when she had my sister. I haven't seen either since I was 2, my first childhood memory.

She woke us up at 6 in the morning, fed us breakfast and sent me off in the play-pen with my sister. I remember looking over the gate at her, crying and writing two letters. She sealed them off in evolopes and with a kiss.

We werent the rishest family. But we weren't the poorest... Okay maybe we were. We had nothing. And I knew of legal issues with my father. He killed himself when he found out Mom was pregnant again, scared of the thought of a second burdon ( I always needed to brush off the anger of him thinking of her as a burdon, the sister I don't know. It gets to me... )

We were then placed in the back of the car and drove off. We ended up at a foster center for babies, infants and adolecents. I could hear her chocking back tears and sobs the whole way there.
As I held onto her free hand and toppled inside with her, holding my sister in her other arms, we were met by a scarily skinny blond behind the counter. I listened to her tell my mom to sign us in to the center. It took an hour for her to finish all this paperwork. Once finished, the blond sealed off all the papers.
And that's when I saw the strongest person I've known my whole life competely break down into sobs.
I hugged her leg as strong as a two year old could muster. she picked me up once setting my sister in her carrier on the counter and hugged me with all the life of her. This was our good-bye.

"Momma.." I remember whispering this, touching her cheek, and looking at her swollen, red eyes. "Luff you."

"I love you, too," she said matter-a-factly. Then a was taken away by another worker who I have know idea of, since I was too busy crying silently over being taken away from my mother. After the process repeated with my sister, but more silently since my sister couldn't talk, she left. My mom left and I learned why on my 16th birthday.

By that point I had been in 9 homes. My sister and I split up, so I don't know how she took it two years later once she got her letter. I take it they say the same thing, with the exception of the discriptions of being a man. I take it my sister got woman, unless I had remembered wrong. I don't even remember their names. God knows.

It explained why she did what she did. If she didn't turn us in, they'd come too our apartment and take us away. Which would be more diffuclt, what with it causing a scene. Our money issues is what caused it.
There's no one I respect more than my mom for what she did. I'm not mad. I was until I turned sixteen and read that letter.

Sealed with a kiss.

"Frank!" I heard Gerard nearly yell, and snapped out of it.

"Sorry.." I couldn't help but yawn as I spoke. My thoughts made me even more tired.
"You're sleeping here. I'll be right back with some of Mikey's pajama's. They'll fit your small stature better than my pajama's" 

I giggled. Of course his would. Gerard's like 7 feet tall, that little - but not really - bastard.
I sat on the bed and looked around. The carpet was pale blue and the walls were a darker shade of the same blue. The bed was very comfy. It had a heavy winter comfuter, teal. And decorative teal pillows with a nightstand beside the bed and a nice little lamp. I bit my lip as I always did when I was jealous. I wanted this life. A part of me felt like I deserved it. The other part made me think I was in this position because I deserved it. I shouldn't've been born and shouldn't've of acted the way I did to my foster families.

Dammit, I'm glad I'm out of the system now.

He came back and plopped down black and green plaid pajama bottum and a plain white t-shirt.
"Thanks," I said, taking off my shirt to change.

Oh fuck.

I forgot about my cuts. Not only did the fabric hurt running over my arms, but his eyes burned into them, making them feel even deeper than originally. I quickly put on the tshirt so he wouldn't see the ones across my chest and upper arms.

"Frank.." He called me Frankie. And in a curcumstancelike this. I can't.. I don't deserve his understanding.
I shrugged and changed into the bottums he got me. I sighed after his staring didn't leave off. "You should go be with your girlfriend. I'll explain these tomorrow if you let me sleep. Please."

He nodded silently, and walked out a few seconds later. I choked up watching him leave. I always do that.
You would too if you had a story like mine.

I laid under the covers and flopped onto my side with a sob. And before contaminating my brain any further with my thoughts, I was asleep.

Gerard's POV

It was hard at first to forget the incident with Frankie several moments earlier, but once Lyn and I got to talking, it came naturally. Not only did my parents allow me to actually be alone with her in my bedroom rather than yelling at us to go to the park - mainly so, if I knocked her up, it wouldn't be in her home - but they even forbade Mikes from coming back.

Before heading into my room where Lyn was waiting for me, I went to the kitchen for her favorite snack: Oreos and 2 glasses of milk, one for myself and one for her.

"Tell me why Frank has no home again?" My mom's demand turned to a question, out of sympathy, I think.

"His mom gave him up when he was little, uh.. and his sister.." I blinked and turned to face her. "Can we talked tomorrow? I want to-"

"Be with Lindsey. Go ahead." She smiled, and I kissed her on the cheek on my way out.

I walked into my room and closed the door once setting the snacks on my nightstand right beside me and my bed on its other side with Lyn sitting there, surfing the pages of one of my drawing notebooks. She looked up at me and smiled, and I smiled back.

And in the blink of an eye, she was gorging the Oreos. I let out a laugh and sat beside her, watching and stiffling giggles.

She looked over at me with a playful glare. I made a kissy face, mocking her, and she wiped the cookie crums off her lips onto mine and smiled. I then licked them off and laid down with a sigh. She laid down too and nustled her head into the crook of my neck.

"I love you," I said. God knew I meant it.

"I love you, too."

"Oh!" I jumped up and walked over to my closet, pulling out a white present bag. "I can't believe I almost forgot these. They're gifts. You're not leaving without a piece of me." I bit my lip nervously as I gave her the bag. She pecked my lips and started opening the bag, pulling out each present wrapped - quite badly, from yours truely - in old, white tissue paper.

She sets the two gifts beside each other neatly on the bed sheets and nibbles her lips. She looks up at me as if to ask which one to open first. I raise an eyebrow. "Your choice, babe."

I try to hold back giggles as she looks down - almost robotically - and does eanie meanie miney moe like a 2nd grader. She lands on the one rapped just like the shape of a CD case, making it obvious of what it was, it was just a matter of the artist the was the surprise.

"She opened it the find a CD case that can hold two CDs. I took out my Misfits 2 piece set and all the papers and replaced them with The Pixies' first album "Come On Pilgrim" and a Smashing Pumpkins Greatest Hits CD. The significance behind these albums relate to how we met and then to a first anniversary gift.

I was having a terrible day at school. I was failing and not yet on my meds for depression and laid down in the grass by the tree where I had just met Frank today. I was listening to the album and she had to walk past where I was to walk home. She heard the music, walked over and started talking about music. We talked the same amount of times the album could play on repeat 4 times. From then on we talked and hung out everyday and by the third day we had kissed and were together.

The Smashing Pumpkins gift was what she gave me our first anniversary, which was also what played in the background the first time we finally did it. We went all out and threw away all our insecurites and put all our trust in each other and made love in her closet - which, may I add, was half the size of her room.

Thats's one of the greatest memories we share together.

She doesn't have a father in her life, and she said I gave her what she needed to be strong again. She fixed me then. Helped my depression to the point I felt good enough to not takes my meds some days, which is saying something serious.

I stayed close to her, an arm around my waist as she admiringly looked at the CDs. When she looked up at me her eyes were closed, holding back tears. I kissed her softly and reminded her of the other gift. She grinned and set the case aside, tearing the next gift open.

This one was portait of her and I when I was fifteen and her just fourteen. Our 2nd year together. We were standing in front of her mother's Christmas tree, pulled close in a hug as her mom took the picture and gave me a copy as my gift from her that year. I did a sketch of it, framed it and it's now in her hands.
Furrowing my eyebrows, I watched her put them in the bag and get up to toss out the trash. I laid my head back against the headboard and found myself closing my eyes. I felt her crawling up into my lap and wrap her arms around my neck and kissed my jaw. I automatically wrapped my arms around her waist and tilted my head to the side, and I opened my eyes.

7:57 PM.

Slowly - we took as much time as we could, knowing it would be our last time together until I'm at her house, helping them pack the last of their things into the moving truck - we became one again, for the last time. In complete bliss we completely forgot about the seemingly fatally emotional torture we'd endure tomorrow.

An hour later, we were cuddled under the covers together, nothing seperating us but our skin. I traced circles up and down her spine and breathed slowly, until it was late enough to the point we had no choice but come back to realitly.

"I have to be home by 8:30.." I made a noise the sounded like a whine and a grunt put together, which made her giggle. I had to grin at that.

Five minutes later we were dressed and saying our good-bye's at my front door. I watched as her mom pulled out of the driveway with my lifeline until the car was out of my line of terrible vision.
I ploped down on the couch and laid down, suddonly tired as fuck. I fell asleep hours before my usual timing but I don't care. I have nothing to really live for now anyway.

I was awaken by a silent thump, tummy growl, and the urge to pee all at once. I stretched and realized it was still dark out, and I had fallen asleep on the couch. Great.

I hopped out of my chair and practically marched to the bathroom.


I jumped, nearly making a mess of the bathroom. I washed my hands and went over to Mikey's room. Wasn't from there, he was just snoring. So, I checked the guest room. Frank was rolling around, getting back under the covers.

"You okay in there?" I asked catiously.

I watched carefully as he nodded and burried his head under the pillow. Chewing my lips and sitting at the foot of the bed, I asked, "Are you okay?"

"Mmmgh." I bit the inside of my cheek to keep my one giggle from escaping. He flopped on his back and shoved the covers off his face and just past his neck. I showed a friendly grin, and he rubbed his face in return and mumbled into his hands. "I fell off the bed in my sleep."

I giggled. "Are you okay?"

He nodded and looked towards me. "Why aren't you asleep?"

I awoke from the thump of your fall, forgot because I had to piss, and heard the second thump and nearly covers the bathroom with my urine."

He laughed and covered his mouth to keep quiet.

"At first I thought it was Mikey, turns out his snoring played out as an angry dog's growls in my dreams."

He giggled again and I smiled in return. He patted the spot next to him and I layed down. We laid in a comfy silence. I made sure he wasn't sleeping yet; I had a question.

"Can you tell me now? Why they're there? I thought of it and I don't think I'll be able to fall back asleep without knowing.."

Frank's POV

I told him everything. Everything. What the hell was I doing? I even told him about how abusive my last three homes were. Where I got treated like a slave and if I didn't comply or do as told, I'd get beaten, cut - by them, not me - or was held solitary without food for 24 hours.

I told him slowly, not just so I could keep back tears, but so I could watch his reactions and shut up if I felt needed. And surpisingly, I didn't. He watched me as if he were concerned... his face was so composed... His beautiful face.

I turned my head and faced the cieling again and closed my eyes.

"You tired?" I shook my head in responce. I wasn't at all, actually now that I think about it. "Alright, then I need to say something." I nodded again and looked back over. He sighed and closed his eyes. He actually began telling me his life story. What? I don't understand. But I listened anyway, closely, too. And I couldn't believe what I was hearing, or the fact he was bothering to trust me with all this as well.

"I'm.. bi. As you know. As everyone knows. When I was, oh say 13 years old, I met a guy who was bi as well. We talked and had so much in common." He paused to chuckle. "We ended up together, for about a year and a half. I really trusted him. And he trusted me, but only because he knew I was vunerable and new to the scene. He was a year older than me, a year's extra of experience - which is a lot, really. One day, he took me out... I was 14 by then. We went to the park. Y'know, the one right down the road from school." He sighed and took two deep breaths before continuing, with his eyes closed, facing up at the ceiling.

"We were chatting about superheros; we got each other comic books and chose it best for current conversation. Then he started acting all shady... He -" His eyes squinted further shut and wrinkled his nose. It would've been cuter if I knew that behind his eyelinds his eyes showed complete vunerablility. I understood.

"You can continue; it's okay," I laid on my side and face his, trying to look as welcoming as I could. He looked at me and nodded, and I swear I saw tears in his eyes. I rested a warm hand on his arm closest to me. He continued.

"He told me for the past 6 monthes he was sleeping around with this kid, um.." He took a shaky breath. "Clearly, I was fucking broken. And I just wanted to leave. So I got up and he pulled me back and forced himself ontop of me on the bench, and he said, 'But it was only me. I was sleeping with him, him not with me. He didn't want it, you see, and now that I've said that you probably don't want what you're about to get.' I know all that he said, everything. and I wish I didn't, but I'd rather that than.."

He trailed off. I rubbed his arm soothingly. "Gerard.. I'm so sorry."

He turned to me, grinning weakly. 'It's okay. Don't worry about it. I'm.. on meds now and go to therapy when my mom notices I'm getting worse. She had to take me in when we found out Lindsey had to move."

Ohhh. That's what was going on. I nodded and rested my head on his shoulder. Again, he continued ( I swear he could go on forever, but I didn't mind, not one bit. )

"I promised myself that day that never again I would be with anyone. I'd isolate myself like I did after the fist incident. It doesnt help me, but it helps everyone around me, and-"

I had to cut him off. "Gerard. Just listening to you say that makes me feel shit. No one who is important to you and your life would ever feel that it's helping them. It's hurting me when you say that; I can't even imagine what it would be like to feel that way as a family member. And sometimes, you need to be selfish. Because, when it's done the right way, it helps everyone around you. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Don't ever isolate yourself."

He was slightly taken aback, and I watched as he tried to shake it off. "I'll do what I always did then. It's my confort zone."

"Then get out there. I mean, dammit, I said to be selfish in the right ways, not the way that'll hurt everyone like before." He bit his lip in responce like he got it. I sighed through my nose and laid down on my back again. "You should also really try showering. That would help everyone else more than yourself."

He chuckled. "Right. I'll but that on my bucket list."

I raised an eyebrow at him. He giggled and reached his arm out and touched me cheek. "Sooo, I'll head back to bed Frankie. THank you a lot for sharing all that with me. I... It trully means anything that could be everything right now." He stroked my cheek with his thumb and looked me in the eye. I swallowed and looked away, blushing. Flattering words and cute nicknames in my favor are just... different to me.

He leaned in, pecked my lips, and walked out. I listened to him walk into his room and the door close with a quiet and careful click.

And before I even realized how tired I was, I fell asleep.


November 2011



RSS Atom
Powered by LiveJournal.com